by Yvonne DiVita

This is the first Smart Conversation of 2021.
Full video below. And a link to a special gift!

I was so honored to welcome Tracey Dobbins who lives in Wyoming, but who was born in England.

If you ask her about herself, she'll tell you she considers herself an adult “why child” - still endlessly in love with questions. Her natural inquisitiveness makes her a natural people connector. Those two personality traits - being a people person and also always asking 'why' - make for a powerful combo in her female-supported business endeavors. This video covers a sliver of all of that. Just a sliver. Because women's friendships, learning to make effective small talk, and learning how the do's and don'ts of networking, could be an entire series of videos. And maybe they will! 

The Art of Making Choices

Like many of us, Tracey had a choice to make in her 20s. Pursue her love of psychology or follow her art muse. Psychology or art muse. This or that. Choices must be made.

The art muse spoke louder. Thirty years later, after a very successful international art career (let me repeat that: international art career), a series of serendipitous events occurred. They lead to her back to the other love of her life, human nature and psychology. She then became an ICF certified positive psychology coach.

In 2016, Tracey founded Art of Friends to help provide respectful guidelines for women of all ages to become better friends. This includes the essential skills that empower everyone to say no to the toxic people masquerading in their life as personal friends. In 2018, she founded the second phase of her plan, Master Small Talk, to help quieter contemplative businesswomen navigate relationships in an extroverted business world without having to use slick sales-speak.

A Formula - For Us - For Women

After years of struggling as an introvert, Tracey gradually overcame this #2 fear in business by trial and error. Gathering her own field-tested experience over 30 years, along with scientific research, her FEMININE FORMULA FOR EFFECTIVE SMALL TALK came into being. It fits the way women naturally connect and build relationships.

This is done by developing the most powerful networking asset we have…a confident and relaxed, aligned voice. It’s the secret that leads to endless Yesses! (Notice the word "voice". I am all about voice. All about getting your voice out into the world. Imagine how much more powerful you would be, you will be, when you learn to be confident, relaxed? It's possible. With Tracey and her work, it's more than possible.)

Several years ago, she became an Amazon International Bestselling Co-Author in 5 countries in the book, The One Thing Every Mom Needs to Know, where she outlined 5 simple steps to better friendships for life.

When the Questions Stop - What Happens?

In our conversation, Tracey illuminates the reasons we ladies, mostly, stop asking questions in our teens. Why and how we become quiet and introverted.

I know a lot about that. Don't you? I rarely answered questions... and if called upon, would mumble the answer (if I had an answer at all). Unless it was about English and writing. Ha! I could talk about that all day, even then. In my school, I was the writing nerd. People came to me for help with their papers all the time. I'll confess a secret - in several papers, in high school and college, I just wrote a made-up essay. I perused the content and wrote the equivalent of a short story about it - and I got A's for everything. 

Watch and learn from this talk more about extroverted and introverted personalities working together (or not) at 8 minutes. Is it nature or nurture?

At 14 minutes, Tracey talks about Covid and how some of us are climbing the walls. And some, like myself, are quite comfy as quarantine goes on and on. Which one are you? And, should you be recognizing the challenges the other personality types may be experiencing?

Is it time, she wonders, to ask ourselves some questions. What makes you happy? What kind of people make you happy? Have you ever thought deeply about those questions?

At 20 minutes, Tracey shares a skill she thinks should be taught in schools, but isn't. What do you think? A new focus for our kids in school?

Make sure you watch through to minute 25 to learn about "friendship housekeeping." Watch and leave a comment.

For more Tracey go to Art of Friends - a beautiful site depicting women and friendship. And so much more. Do visit!

Master Small Talk with Tracey here.

Get the One Thing Every Mom Needs To Know, with Tracey's chapter by clicking the link in this sentence.

Download Tracey's SPECIAL gift just for you!!!   Can you say Digital Best First Impressions and Small Talk Assessment? 

(take notes - there is a wealth of great advice here!) Visit Nurturing Big Ideas for more Smart Conversations.